See also “10 Reasons Why Kevin Ezell Stinks”
*This article is an attempt to show the ridiculous nature of assuming the worst about Dr. Albert Mohler (or anyone else). Each negative point below has little to no proof, yet, many of these arguments are presented across the blogosphere as tenable. My point is simply that they are not tenable, but are hanging in mid-air. Follow the links provided for proof against these accusations. When you assume the worst about individuals, you hear everything they say differently than you would hear them if you cared what they meant, viewed them positively, or viewed them with grace.
Albert “Stinky” Mohler is the President of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. The above picture was obviously taken at an exact moment when Al Mohler was telling his hearers, “I’m Number 1. I’m Number 1.” Here are 10 reasons why I think he stinks:
1. He was instrumental in the conservative resurgence. I like to call the conservative resurgence the time when the fundamentalists ruined the SBC by believing (in a stinky manner) what the Bible says in its entirety. Mohler helped to ruin the traditional SBC according to the moderates. Congratulations “rotten egg” Mohler.
2. He was instrumental in reforming Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. It’s no secret that Al Mohler returned SBTS to her original doctrinal statement The Abstract of Principles (a more conservative, more narrow, and more Calvinist confession). He did this because the Baptist Faith and Message of 1963 was easily affirmed by some faculty members at SBTS who denied inerrancy. The charter of SBTS (1858) also required all faculty to sign the Abstract of Principles, but this requirement had been neglected. Even with this history in mind, one cannot deny that Mohler is obviously a raging Calvinist lunatic who sought to reform SBTS to his own beliefs by requiring faculty members to sign, according to the original charter of SBTS (A charter that was forged over one hundred years before Mohler was born), the Abstract of Principles.
3. He thinks Southern Baptists have lied about the nature of homosexuality and practiced a form of homophobia. Sure, he’s written and spoken about homosexuality on over 300 occasions, but he’s been ambiguous about homosexuality. Sure, he’s said that homosexuality is a sin, carried out by sinners that need to be transformed by grace, but he’s been wishy-washy. Sure, he’s called homosexual marriage unnatural, immoral, and madness, and that throwing in the towel is just not an option for conservatives, but he’s been unclear. Sure, he’s said that homosexuality is more than a choice, that it can’t be turned on and off, that the only remedy is the gospel, and that until former homosexuals are sitting in our congregations, washed by the blood of Christ, we still have a gospel job to do (5:10 onward), but he’s been ambiguous. “Hail King Mohler,” who doesn’t know what he believes about homosexuality.
4. He’s a complementarian. This is just is a fancy way of saying, “I think men are superior to women.” Sure, he has spoken against adolescent male chauvinism, encouraging Christian men to be biblical husbands, fathers, leaders, servants, teachers, protectors, and providers, but he still diminishes women. If a woman does not have the same role as a man, then she’s diminished. I can’t wait until technology catches up with this ideology and allows men to have babies. What will stinky Mohler do then with this truly egalitarian revolution?
5. He thinks reformed theology, new Calvinism, or some other label of this same theology (he doesn’t care what you label it – 10:18) is the only place young conservatives who are theologically-minded, deeply-convictional, and committed to the gospel have to run if they want to see the nations rejoice in Christ and produce gospel-committed churches (6:00 onward). Sure, he’s said that the Baptist Faith and Message is a Calvinist (Reformed) document, even arguing that all Southern Baptists who have agreed with the various Southern Baptist confessions since 1845 (the founding of the SBC) were Calvinistic/Reformed (pg. 40-41), but he obviously means that only those who are 5-point Calvinists like him have anything worthwhile to say in contemporary evangelicalism. Where else can anyone turn but to Al “Stinky” Mohler or other stinky people like him?
6. He thinks abortion is murder. He claims that twenty-two percent of the pregnancies in the United States, roughly 2 out of every 10, end in abortion. Sure, it’s illegal to destroy the eggs of various endangered species, but humans are not endangered. This is just another way Mohler wants to limit the rights of women.
7. He believes the Baptist Faith and Message is enough to unite Southern Baptists. Even though Mohler is a 5-point Calvinist, he is happy to unite with other Southern Baptists under the Baptist Faith and Message (pg. 40-41). He’s even said, “The Baptist Faith and Message is all I need” (pg. 55). Furthermore, He’s a member at a church where he’s in the minority concerning Calvinism (pg. 40-41 and 54-55). Silly Mohler. I’m on to your political deception. You only make statements about unity under the BF&M 2K because you want to rule the SBC. The truth is that you’re really a stinky Calvinist who will not rest until you rule the SBC from your 5-point Calvinist throne.
8. He represents Southern Baptists in the public square. Everyone knows that bloggers should represent Southern Baptists in the public square, not seminary presidents. Sure, Mohler’s a blogger as well, but he’s terrible. Furthermore, Mohler doesn’t represent the beliefs of the majority of Southern Baptists. Sure, he affirms the BF&M 2K, but being a Southern Baptist is so much more than one confession. I’ve talked with over 3 million Southern Baptists (which is a majority since around six million worship in a Southern Baptist church on the average Sunday), and Al Mohler doesn’t represent their beliefs as much as I do.
9. He doesn’t think Mark Driscoll is the Devil. What Al Mohler doesn’t understand is that it’s all or nothing. Mohler must either reject Driscoll entirely or accept him entirely. He cannot agree with Driscoll on some things, but disagree with him on others. That’s just foolish. That’s why I reject everyone, because I’m the only person I agree with 100% of the time (except, of course, when I disagree). Mark Driscoll stinks, and Al Mohler stinks because he doesn’t think Driscoll stinks.
10. He wears short shorts. Dr. Russell Moore tweeted that Dr. Mohler wore shorts to his office one day. Although there is no proof or pictures, I know Dr. Mohler must have wore Daisy Duke (very short) shorts to Dr. Moore’s office. Otherwise, why would Dr. Moore have been so surprised by Dr. Mohler’s attire? Moore said, “Al Mohler just came in my office in shorts and a T-shirt. Cats are lying down with dogs and the moon is turning to blood.”
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